I'm not a "Valentines Day" sort of girl. I think it's because gift giving is not one of my "love languages". I enjoy watching the kids get excited about their parties at school and their cards that they give out to all of their friends, but as for hoping and wishing for a special gift or surprise.....I could care less.
When I tell others that I don't want gifts from my husband for my birthday, Christmas, or any other holiday it almost sounds like I don't care about him or that our marriage is boring or sad. That is the furthest from the truth. I am so in love.....I am so thankful.....I am so blessed to be married to this man!
How did Ben and I end up together? It was God's will at work! At the time I might have seen things as coincidences or happenstances but I would never call it that again. God knew who I belonged with and he presented me with the opportunity. I'm so, so glad that I followed!
Our High School love affair only lasted a short 6 months. His Mom, although I know she would never admit this to me, was not fond of me. My Mom, on the other hand, was head over heals for Ben. (She told me after we were married that although she thought Ben was the best thing since sliced bread, she didn't ever think we would work b/c we are both extroverts.) So, we had a sweet 6 month love affair. It was long enough that we both made a lasting impression on each other, but short enough that we both moved on without too much trouble. (Well, maybe one of us had a little more trouble than the other.....I now recall a broken windshield in a car.....but I won't get stuck on those little details.) Our fondness for each other did not disappear over the years, but our feelings for each other were demonstrated in friendship and not romance. (Although, we both had some serious issues with each other's dating choices.) We had a few brief encounters with each other early in college that could have led to something more, but as I see it now.....it wasn't our time yet.
So, now I am going to jump forward 5 years. It was our senior year in college and I was healing from a very bad break-up. Ben and I had not seen or talked to each other in a very long time. One night in I was feeling very lonely. The thought of Ben popped into my mind and I knew talking to him would pick up my spirits. The problem was, I didn't know his phone number. He attended a college an hour away from me....but luckily so did my sister. So, I called my sister in the hopes that she could give me some info on how to get a hold of him. As I was talking to her I heard a *beep* on my phone. I clicked over to answer the new call and it was him. Now, this was CRAZY WEIRD. I have no recollection previous to this day of Ben EVER calling our apartment. I was in shock! (Do you see God working yet?)
We talked for about an hour. He told me he was just checking in on me to see if I was okay after the break-up. And.....just as I suspected, talking to him was exactly what I needed.
Okay....fast forward several weeks.
It was time to return to school after Easter Break. My sister's school was on the way to my school so I stayed the night with her before planning to return to EIU in time for my morning classes. When I went to my car that Monday morning I found my window smashed in a zillion little pieces and my purse gone. I was upset but I handled it fine. My sister called the police and with my permission headed off to her first class of the day. After giving the police my report I thought I would get into my car and drive it back to school. What I didn't think of was...
1) My car was full of glass
2) I didn't have a dime to my name to go to a car wash and vacuum it out. All my money was in my stolen purse.
Sarah was gone, I had no phone, and I was in a real pickle. I got into my car and drove to my ex-boyfriend's frat house in hope that one of our friends there could help me out. I walked around knocking on doors and I had no luck. Everyone was either in class or not interested in getting out of bed to see who was pounding on the door.
At this point I was feeling anxious and defeated. I didn't even know how to get back to my sister's apartment. I drove around the large town trying to decide how to handle this big mess. And there is was.....Ben's fraternity house. This was nuts b/c I didn't know how to get to his frat house. I was not familiar with the area and really didn't know how to get there. (Again, God's hands are all over this!) I went inside and was THRILLED to find Ben inside. Because his fraternity was filled with some amazing gentlemen, there was a crew out cleaning my car before I even asked. They swept it out and created a temporary plastic window to get me back to school. They got it done just in time for the rain to start falling. (SEE!)
There were two factors keeping me there that day.
One: I didn't want to drive in the rain and have my temporary window blow in on me.
Two: I didn't want to leave Ben.
I don't know the actual moment or day that I knew Ben was the man I wanted to marry......but I can tell you it didn't take long. We were engaged that December and married the next July.
There is not a day I regret marrying him. We got married at 23. We were still kids. I feel so fortunate that we had the opportunity to grow into adults together and now we will be growing old together!
Why do we work so well together?
1) We are fortunate to have the same needs. Neither of us had to take much time figuring each other out b/c our "love languages" were the same.
2) We both have forgiving hearts. I think that is both part of who we are and part of what we believe.
3) We both talk a lot and listen even more. I know there are very few men out there that could or would be willing to listen to a women talk as much as I do. I'm a lucky girl!
4) We trust each other with our whole hearts.
5) We don't get comfortable. Marriage is work and we have seen too many marriages fall apart when people stop paying attention.
6) We have a marriage based household. Although we adore our kids....we come first.
We chat at least 4 times a day on the phone.
We always go to bed together.
We don't take each other's mood swings personal.
We hold hands.
We go on dates.
We don't take each other for granted.
We have always followed each other's dreams.
Together we have created what I have always dreamed of.......
And I know there will be days that our faith in each other and the Lord will be tested....but I have the confidence that we have a foundation that will not fall. I believe our foundation is solid!
But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15
I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us next!
So, I wrote this to Thank God for leading me to Ben and Thank Ben for loving me so much!
Happy Valentines Day!
